Tell Me... (Painting Mumbai Red with Innocent Blood)

Silence gives way to the violent storm,
A premonition that its going to be worse than before,
Crimson stains the walls and the floor,
As people run for cover when the bombs begin to explode.

Tell me did you hear when I yelled?
Did you care when I bled?
Did you hear me pray to the same God?

Hatred fills the empty spaces
When we see them lying broken on the ground
With every bullet we drill the final nail
Into the coffin of love and peace, the things that started it all.

Tell me, did you see who I loved?
Did you love like I did?
Did you hear me cry for help?

Tell me did you care when you shot?
Did you have a purpose?
Or was it all for nothing?

You talk about peace and you talk about wrong
But all the while you hold that gun
You shoot the innocent
Pretending you're better than us.

Why?

You Don't Know Me... You Don't Even Care...

The lyrics to the song 'Boston' by Augustana send me on a nostalgic journey to the words of a poem I once wrote... it echoes the same desperate loneliness I felt, sending me along paths I fear to tread on...

I don't like being alone... and that I am very much what I despise being... lonely... its a realization that has been long coming. I wish I was different that things were; not what they are... but they are...

The realization that even though I've been here for two years now I don't have a single friend is slightly depressing... when I mean real friend, I mean the kind who tells you everything, relies on you and you can do the same with them... People who want to hang out with you, who try to make an effort to... recently my roommate's friend made me realize that I wasn't interesting enough, but I beg to differ... So what if I'm not good looking and am fat? I can hold my own. I can converse, argue, debate, rebut and I can rip you apart with my words. So what if I'm an introvert? Get to know me and you'll know how passionate I am about certain issues?

Is the world really as shallow as to deem only thin, good-looking people worth getting to know? If not, then why is it that the only criteria that makes a person "interesting"?

Am I too intense? Is it my intensity that scares people away... makes people quake in their boots and give up before trying? I don't know... My introversion and fear of judgment hold me back... not letting me express who I truly am and who I can be...

I need this to change.