Ai is dying... Sims 3... Driving Lessons... ETA: Prop 8

Ai is dying, and I'm not willing to replace him... he's been faithful for two years, even through all the abuse... even though he's permanently bandaged to keep dust from entering his circuit, he still works fairly well... but I'm beginning to realize that if I don't replace him, I might not be able to get through the remaining 1.5 years of university.... :(

I just realized I can afford a new, better and faster laptop, but it breaks my heart to see him dying... yes, his life is coming to a close, it has been for a while now. He keeps stalling and doing random clicky shit all over the damn place, down to the point where it is annoying and gets me in trouble... like the other day when I was trying to book my tickets and it would keep skipping back to 'Step 1' instead of 'Step 4'!! :(

But he deserves love.

I can't abandon him.

I think he shall stick around till either A) he overheats and his chips melt... B) he shuts down and never starts up again... or C) my parents gift me a new laptop which I won't abuse as much (and would have more features than this pile of shit anyways)... *huggles Ai, you know I love you*

When will they release Windows 7??? Ugh. the wait for better technology is exhausting. I refuse to shift to Vista if its really as problematic as people say it is...

AND THERE IS GOING TO BE A SIMS 3!!!!!!!! *Squeeeeee*

The fact that I family gets in the way of my fan-fiction writing is bothering me. I realized I got over my celebrity crush, which both amused and depressed me- but no worries, I shall still fan-girl my ass off, because the man deserves every ounce of love that is sent his way (even if some of it is the creepy kind... you know what I'm talking about!)...

The driving institute is driving me mad. Bastards were supposed to tell me whether or not I could start lessons tomorrow... but fuck them calling me, they won't even take MY calls! ASSHOLES!! I WANT TO FUCKING LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE A FUCKING CAR!! I'M FUCKING TWENTY YEARS OLD AND I DON'T LIVE IN THE FUCKING COUNTRY LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LET YOUR STUPID SHOW!!!

:(


♥

ETA: Fucking Prop 8 and the supreme court! WHAT THE FUCK!!?? what the fuck is wrong with this fucking country. All the talk about equality and freedom, FUCK YOU! ITS A FUCKING LIE!! So much for equality and so fucking much for freedom... FUCK YOU!... why the fuck is there so much fucking hatred in the world!? why can't people love like they're meant to and just let it be... if you don't like gay marriage DONT FUCKING MARRY SOMEONE OF THE SAME FUCKING SEX... but WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO STOP OTHER PEOPLE FROM DOING IT??? If you're overly religious and think homosexuals are going to go to hell, well THAT IS NOT YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM! IT'S THEIR PROBLEM, SO PLEASE BUTT YOUR FUCKING NOSE OUT OF IT IF YOU DON'T SUPPORT IT!! How would you like it if everyone held a microfuckingscope to your marriage and told you your husband was fucking... err I mean "coveting thy neighbor's wife", or told your husband that you were sleeping with the neighbor! FUCK OFF, its none of your fucking bees-wax!! Let people love who they want to... let FREEDOM RING!! LET IT RING!!! Love and be loved, isn't that the start and end of every story worth telling? WHY DO YOU WANT TO FILL YOURS WITH HATE?? Bigotry is so not becoming anymore! FUCK!!!!!!!

Dreamwidth... Facebook... and other Junk...

So I'm flying out to Dubai in a few hours... YAY!! (not really)... but I don't know if LJ is going to work there, the last time I was there it was banned, and if it does, there is no sure-fire way of knowing if it will stay accessible over my entire stay there... I just hope I'll be able to watch the story on YouTube...

Anyways, I have one invite for Dreamwidth still available if anyone wants it... shoot me a message with your email address on it... If DW works you shall get it within the week, else, it'll have to wait a little while....

Also, I contemplated adding fandom friends to the mix, and while, yes, I'm still not sure if I should, I am. So if you want to add me you can do so by clicking HERE. I'm also on AIM using the same handle as this (a.k.a. Painfullystoic). If you're a friend, you also have access to my other IM servers, so feel free to add me.

I recently commented to a letter to the editor of The Times of India. The article this was a review for was entitled "Gay couples 'marry' with parents' approval, hawan and priests". Hopefully my comment & reply will be on there in a few days (if it is I will paste it here ASAP), because that man really made me angry. However it might not make it on there because it was LONG... almost as long as the article itself, and definitely implied that the man was an idiot. I'd quote what he said, but I don't think its worth repeating...

I have been waking up at 2 am CDT. It is pissing me off because now I'm so clucking tired my eyes are closing of their own accord.

G'night All!

Lost

I’m lost in the recesses of my mind,
Along empty roads with wordless signs.
An endless corridor with a door to my right;
Who’s key has been lost in the folds of time.

I’m falling through a darkness that never ends,
Down an abyss of solitude I created myself.
I try to hold on to memories and thoughts
That brush my fingers but stay out of grasp.

I’m traversing roads that are long forgotten,
Painting in hues that have faded to nothing,
Singing a tune in meaningless tongues
And standing in a silence that is anything but.

Yet I know nothing I say I do.
And mean nothing I claim to mean.
Because I’m just as lost as you are
In this sea of faceless have-beens.

So I contemplate and question,
All the shoddy uncertainty-
The right, the wrong, the black and white.
But what happens to the area in between-
that no matter what conveniently stays
Lost, confused and undoubtedly forgotten?

What's a girl to do?

When her brain has turned to goo, being in habited by a Gay fictional-soap-opera character who is now dominating every thought especially when it comes to writing things.

Holy, Jeeezez Fucking Christ!! I mean honestly!! Are you for real? <---- can't believe I just asked that. *smacks herself in the forehead*

*huggles the fandom and all the wonderful people*

You guys, seriously you guys, I love you all so much. Like honest to God. I'm so honored to be a part of such a sophisticated fandom. I really didn't expect it to be this way; I mean, sure, I know we have the crazy fans "[who] will have [their] babies" but on the whole the maturity of the people in this group never fails to amaze me. So lets not stop now.
And such a supportive group too. Not just when it comes to enabling our mutual love for the characters, but also in our personal lives. Its brilliant!! :D I'm really glad to have met you guys (well metaphorically anyways)... Its been a wonderful journey thus far, and I'm glad to be walking the road with y'all!

*raises champagne glass*

I really hope Horny!Noah gets it together in my brain, because everything I write is being turned over. AND JEEZ IS IT FRUSTRATING!!!

*goes back to studying geotechnical engineering*

*rips hair out*

♥

Walking on Sunshine...

I don't care if I fail all my exams. I am too happy to give a damn because Sid, my Twin, he's alright. He wrote to me and he's doing fine. He's paralyzed, but I'm praying that its temporary. But just knowing that he's no longer hanging on the balance has made me the happiest (well, second happiest) person in the whole wide world.

:) Thank you all for the friendship and support, it meant a lot to me :D

Hates the Heat...

Okay so I know I'm a snow-and-winter girl. My first snowfall (Decemember 2006) and every other one after proves it to me. But this is ridiculous!! I had a nose-bleed today! I mean, I used to get them alot when I was a kid... but I haven't had a serious one in YEARS I tell you! but today, it just wouldn't stop... I love the taste of blood (shut up, I know its creepy... I think so too... It must be where my love for vampires comes from) but not the blood that bleeds into the nose and then clots and feels like someone took floss to your nose... eurghh!! :(

I also bombed my Geography final but I deserved that one... who doesn't go to lecture, doesn't read the two books or any of the articles and not study for the exam till 6 hours before it is?? An Idiot! Yes, folks, I am officially a self proclaimed idiot and queen of procrastination. I deserve to fail that exam... =( but that doesn't have to mean I like it...

Okay. I'm done.

ETA: I'm sorry if I come across as harsh. Its been a long day.

Dear Twin...

Dear Twin,

Please come back. I'm not ready to let you go... I haven't even met you yet. You can't leave already. What about our girl? She'll break without you and I won't be able to hold her together... I won't have the strength to... I know it hurts and I know you're in pain... but please, hold on.

You're strong. You know you are and I know you can make it through anything!

But God. I can't let you go and the fact that I don't know why scares me because I don't know what you look like, I don't know how deep your voice is. I don't know what your smile looks like and I don't know what your laugh sounds like but even still, I miss you already.

We're connected by one girl. One precious girl in whose hands we are both putty. She brought us together and through her I know of your stubbornness, from her I know of you love for her.

So please. Fight for her. Fight for your mom. Fight so that you can go work with your Dad like he wanted you to. Fight for me so that I can meet you someday. Because without you I am incomplete. Without you she and I will be incomplete.

I miss you.

Love,

Me.

ETA:This is about an accident. While trying to get to a village somewhere in north India, a truck smashed a friend's car into a pole. The pole fell down on top of his car and cracked his skull. As far as I know he was in surgery for over two hours. He's out of surgery. He may be paralyzed on his left side. Still not out of danger. If I ask for a trade do you think that God will listen? She needs him more. The world needs him more too.

ETA: My best-friend told me about it while he was in surgery and that is when this was written. They were told that the chance of survival was little to none.