"Stoic: One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain"
Breaking from the inside, as i crumble; slowly, but surely, into blatant nothingness... It doesn't scare me anymore... i'm unaffected by pain and betrayal... I am unmoved by the reality thats screaming in my face... I'm not scared of rejection, not insecure about relationships... in some twisted way i guess I'm not afraid that that I'm turning into something less Human... When people around my smile I smile back... but I can't feel the happiness I usually did... when I think of the beach I feel unnervingly calm... a little girl with soft brown curls running across the white sand in a white dress and the waves beat upon the untouched shore, she turns around to face me with out-stretched arms screaming 'mommy... mommy...' a soft smile playing on her face and a familiar mischeivous glint in her eyes... the dream haunts me... plagues me with the reality it exists in my head... seeming so true and yet it isn't so... I'm a creature of darkness and solitude... I do not pride myself in the fact that I have friends... the very fact that I do is in a way an accomplishment... I crave for the pain that I am so adamant at having... the loneliness that I am too stubborn to give up on...
and yet...
I want different...
the body doesn't, but the spirit always live forever...
