The past week has been a blur of colors and sounds. I have a vague recollection of 'the passing's and 'going on's of the days that have passed. I vague, fleeting memory of people. I move. I move soundlessly and unseen through the daily silhouettes of time as it passes me by. My hand writing thoughts, memories, things I thought I had forgotten. Wounds uncovered, reopening. My blood spills onto my hands. My pain feeling as though it is another's. Like looking down on myself from above, I try to help. My hands ghosting through my being. Its like she's broken... But there's nothing there to fix.
There's Nothing.
My actions float on the whisps of time. Wavering and wandering they fade away.
I listen to the tune of an old forgotten song and tears well up in eyes. I refuse to cry as a mother talks about her daughter... she talks about the past and their plans... and I wonder if any of my plans will ever reach fulfillment. Will I get to finally meet my Liam? ever? He's been such a wonderful friend. Will I ever get to see the world?
People tell me to accept God. I don't deny him. I just don't know. I can't follow a religion... correction... I won't follow a religion.
I love myself. my life. my family & friends. I have a billion things on my list of things that make me happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment