This was written in response to something a friend wrote in her blog. Paraphrased, it said: She wishes [a certain celebrity] would come out publicly. [they] have been spotted at various gay-rights/marriage-equality events with [their] partner, but [they] have never actively confirmed or denied any allegations about [their] sexuality. She implied, that as a celebrity, it was [their] duty to come out because it would inspire young LGBTQQA people to come out too.
***This was my irrelevant and completely useless reply***
I have a story to share.
My first exposure to gay anything was the Russian duet TATU and their "All the Things She Said" lesbian make-out video. Even then, I had to google what it meant and then found out about gay people. I was watching one of their videos on TV and my mum came in and said "Aren't they lesbians?" and I just shook my head dumbfounded. Not because I thought it was wrong, more because I used to be uncomfortable talking about any kind of sexual orientation with my parents... I didn't grow up in a "Gay people are sinners" environment, in case you didn't notice, I didn't even know the word Gay meant something other than "happy" till I was like 14-ish... I didn't care either which way. I had no stand on the issue. It didn't matter to me.
Fast forward a few years. I don't know when I became an Ally, I think it happened after I came to the U.S., I became immensely passionate about gay-rights and LGBTQQA issues. My ideologies about human sexuality changed. I wasn't going to lie that I had never been attracted to a woman, maybe it wasn't the same kind of attraction or the same intensity of attraction I had towards a man, but it still existed, however small and negligible. I think society does default the "straight" label. Which is why I gave it up, even though, I might not actually be queer.
Why did I give up the security blanket? Because my bigot of a brother had the AUDACITY to say "If you're a lesbian, don't bring your girlfriend home." and I had the audacity to think that "Thank God, I'm not!"... That was the day I dropped the label. I haven't taken a label, which is why I called myself "a version of queer"... From the first day I saw the TATU video, I thought, love is love- even though it was a bit of a shocker. I was one of those shy, blushing and averting her eyes when anyone kissed on TV kinda girls, though.
I am in a Social Issues Theater ensemble, and one of the characters I'm playing right now is gay and she says "This is a tough one, being gay that is. Well, it doesn't have to be. Society makes it harder, Parents make it harder, YOU make it harder on yourself."
I think we expect too much out of celebrities. Just because they are in the public eye, it doesn't mean that they are obligated to fulfill a social responsibility but coming out to the world! It isn't the world's goddamn business in the first place.
Maybe I'm just one of those special little kids who grew up thinking love can't be wrong. I mean, my brother is a damn bigot and we grew up in the same household. I come from a country where being gay is still punishable by law, and lived in many where being gay will get you executed. Maybe I'm just full of love because I never had anyone share it with and think it is pure. I don't know.
I wish I had answers to why people are the way they are about the issue. I wish I did. I might not even be queer and I'm still proud and sort of out (If someone asks me, I'll tell them what I think straight up (no pun intended :P), but I don't go around telling people that)... I just don't understand hatred because the people who hate are followers of God, and I cannot see God, if he/she/it does exist, hating anyone or anything because of who/what they/it are/is.
♥
I think my point was that I think people lean too much on celebrities. I think sometimes it is a very big burden for them to bear. Not all of them are the sharpest tools in the box. We give them this social burden just because they are in the public eye. But really, honestly speaking, they owe us nothing. They are not obligated to uphold the social responsiblity we give them.
Its like the thing someone said about stigmas. [if we want being gay NOT to be some kind of stigma we have to stop acting like it is.]
I don't know why [certain celebrities] exist in the glass closet. Maybe it really does have to do with [them] being private [people] mixed with the fact that his career matters. I think the U.S. is a very charged place. There is so much hatred in the air it is stifling.
It was called the land of opportunity and freedom. Now its a cesspool, festering with hatred. And I think that is society's fault.
I'm not trying to deny the fact that we do lean on celebrities. That if they came out, it would be easier for insecure/scare/worried gay kids to come out. It would. Which what I think is sad. I KNOW it is scary. I know that for some it would mean losing everything they have. All the love they've ever been given. I mean, risking "I'll love you no matter what you do" parents who turn their backs.
I think as long as [those certain celebrities are] out to those [they] cares about, it doesn't matter what [they] says to the media. [They're] out. Regardless of what we know, think or think we know.
But you know... Maybe that's just me.
I hope I didn't offend anyone who read my story. I know how mad some people get when someone says "I do not define my sexuality" She's gay. She's just ashamed of who she is. FUCK YOU (not you, just people who'd say that in general), IF YOU KNEW ME, YOU'D KNOW I'D BE A FUCKING PROUD LESBIAN AND I WOULD NOT BE ASHAMED TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. But you know, I've never been in any sort of relationship (except one cesspool of emotional crap over the internet that I was guilted into. He was an asshole. I dumped his ass once I realized that just because he's depressed and said things like "I thought you were going to break up with me, All the way home I kept thinking about crashing my car and committing suicide" he wasn't really going to do it. AND that is was NOT good for my emotional, physical or mental health/stability) so what do I know?
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