For fear of my life and sanity...

To all my friends,

My father just threatened to both break my laptop and disown me. I nearly drew blood biting myself to keep from saying anything. Since I'm going to be here for another month, I have to do what I can to keep myself from going over the deep end that I thought I was miles and miles away from. Turns out, not so much. You can only be so happy before it comes and bites you in the ass and takes you by surprise. Don't worry. I'm working on holding onto vines in such a way that I can pull myself back up again...

I'll still try and post my mediocre stories for the love you all give me for it (I'm an attention whore and I love being loved). And I will try to read all the stories even though I might not be able to comment since I'm crunched for time online. If I can't read them now I will read them after August 4.

I love you all.

I wish I could be left to grieve in my own isolated way, rather than their "lets be a family, because we're all we have, lets talk about our... feelings!" way. But I do love my family and I'd rather not lose them over something as stupid as accessing the internet to feel my isolation... It's not that I don't like sharing my feelings. I just don't like sharing them with THEM because they belittle them (for example: When I told my mother I needed help last year (because I felt I was becoming unstable again). She told me to stop being a drama queen)...

Also, I can't tell my parents how I really feel, because what I have to say would be extremely disrespectful in my culture. The double standards kill me. "You need to open a line of communication with us, we can't be the only ones trying to make an effort."--"Don't talk to us that way. If that is how you feel its better if you didn't talk to us at all"

I can't wait to get back on August 4.

Also, my brother has Jaundice. Ugh. Poor kid. I feel so bad for him. I need to take care of him as well... so I'm going to preoccupy myself with treating him like an invalid like my grandmother (maternal obviously) is doing. Did I mention that I feel bad for the kid? I'd hate being treated like I'm incapable of going to the bathroom by myself, I can only imagine how that kid feel. Although he's probably happy that I won't bug him about doing his own dishes now :p... Off to be Florence Nightingale for the day. :D

Cheers!

T.